no longer writing in the third person

no i haven't really read anything

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

I am below everything.

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

"Put a blanket."

Thank you, Jack

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
        13       |
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            H   |
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that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

Picture

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.