currently

much more tactility

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

we can only engage in such a way

a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

division of reality is straying away from it

kind of mythopoesis

or never left

abrar?

It Will Get Lighter

Rain, starting

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i did until you asked which kind of gave it away

lol

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

what do you think my name is