It Will Get Lighter

Thank you, Jack

the site i am dreaming

December 2025

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

was it worth it

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

i really havent

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

we can only engage in such a way

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

you cannot feed someone truth

all that is to say

1

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given