Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
yes
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
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This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
so at the end
Lift Analysis
magnetises a pin
I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.
no like which do people call me
December 2025
feel you
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
no longer writing in the third person
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
i want to do that too
what do you think my name is
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
but i respect your search
like first name
god being the centre magnet