Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

we need to be deconstructing our identities

i hope ai fixes this with the cessation of interfaces and walls

Slug

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

Lift Analysis

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything

not their contents

Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

magnetisation/form

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

all that is to say

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

we can only engage in such a way

Today I felt like starting

division of reality is straying away from it

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

Worse Lift

...

Can I see


December 2025

  1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
  2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
  3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
  4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
  5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

yes