Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after dusk, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

13, H, grate

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

I am below everything.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

in a post. I want to be remembered

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless? 

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I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?