I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out."No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
But seriously, thank you, Jack
Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.