Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.


But seriously, thank you, Jack, for telling me that I could submit this to a high-level literary magazine or creative nonfiction outlet with some minor tweaks. I don't think I will do that.

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

not so on: yvf(wthw)

it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!

magnetises a pin

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

Slug

It Will Get Lighter

what do you mean

I am below everything.

its good

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.