The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

or never left

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

currently

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only." 
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you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

but i respect your search

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

It Will Get Lighter

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

it is hopeful

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Lift Analysis

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.