it is hopeful
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
Lift Analysis
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
hiding from the rain
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.