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with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
no longer writing in the third person
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Today I felt like starting
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.
Better Lift
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
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