something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

no longer writing in the third person

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

IWGD

"Put a blanket."

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

I am below everything.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

plato

there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

It Will Get Lighter

we need to be deconstructing our identities

hiding from the rain

this is possible in mazelike research sprints on the internet

13, H, grate

god "possessing" artists "possessing" people

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

as in

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

have you read

what do you mean

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Rain, starting

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

not their contents

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.