It's
dusk
in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
"Put a blanket."
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
no longer writing in the third person
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
Better Lift
hello reader,
the site i am dreaming
and the fake qualifier
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
Today I felt like starting
i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then
wait what is that
i really havent
was it worth it
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
...