somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise
this is going to be awful.
We look out over the river to a
block of luxury flats built
on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes. The conversation drifts to the
pleasantness of
warm lighting and whether anyone needs a smart home. I interrupt her to make a joke about the French Raj as
he runs up the causeway. We stand there laughing. The fireworks go off behind him.
Actual born-Londoners aren't LARPing like this, they sold their shite family
home for a million pounds and moved to Malaga years ago. They have their
culture and they've taken it elsewhere.
I imagine that some lab-grown 29-year-old from Woking with a mind honed to
identify individuals who fit the profile of Real Londoner (as conceived of by
50 opinion-polled racist builders and their wives in the Midlands) picks a
stubborn local who can still somehow afford to live here and passes him along
to some creative studio.
Dreams like these are highly symbolic and emotionally intense. Here’s a
breakdown of common interpretations:
Today I felt like starting
Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But
like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it
recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare
seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create
within and also produce works from.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
i was tempted to lie about my name
