there is a distinction between western-modern pedagogical systems that's like text-based as in a legal method but there is an idea of "pathshala" or "guru shissho"/ "porompora" i mean how masters relayed knowledge to the student by (oral) transmission often by memorising books. so what was taught was always interactive. knowledge was interactive, you spoke with people rather than read texts.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

currently

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

1

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

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something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

you cannot feed someone truth

i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

propensity within someone

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

the site i am dreaming

its good

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

...

what do you mean