like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
Like the tide, it comes in and it washes over the beach. It's beautiful. But like the tide it goes out, sometimes it goes out further than it ever has, it recedes back across the beach and further out beyond the horizon. The bare seabed opens up in front of you and all you can do is look at it.
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting
autonomy of learning
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
wait what is that
to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
i understand
As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.
Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.
My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.
wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me
so at the end
The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.
we need to be deconstructing our identities
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things
or never left
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.
i am quite illiterate on producing technology
After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.
"Put a blanket."