Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.
no longer writing in the third person
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.hiding from the rain
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46