It Will Get Lighter
Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks
for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we
watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the
bank.
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty
cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing,
etc.
-
Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
-
Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
the textwall is as much for me as it is for you
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just
their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them
in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's
using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their
voices are betraying them.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate,
but I can't
really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
,
I have
nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit
because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling
something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
theres a kind of a cowardice to generative art that i want to avoid though. i
want the kind of relationship to this thing that a game designer has to a game
engine