i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

in a post. I want to be remembered

It's

dusk

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Rain, starting

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

        13       |
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            H   |
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I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Worse Lift

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

currently

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

was it worth it

plato

all that is to say

I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?

isaac

my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given

yeah

i was tempted to lie about my name

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

we can only engage in such a way

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

its good short few pages

whats your name?

division of reality is straying away from it

its good