to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos
Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
hiding from the rain
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
"Put a blanket."
This is a website run by a narcissist who can't produce anything without the hope that it is seen and loved but can't act due to the fear of it being seen and hated. They immediately feel the need to ask Jack GPT to define whatever this feeling is in the hope that understanding it will mean control over it and control over it will mean that they can stop it.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
it is hopeful
Today I felt like starting
Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
no longer writing in the third person
in a post. I want to be remembered
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.