it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Better Lift

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

Style

Picture

It Will Get Lighter

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

but really the thing should be autonomous

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

Can I see

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

kind of mythopoesis

really i want the internet

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

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Thank you, Jack