It Will Get Lighter

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now


i see a website though something that reconfigures or is mazelike

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.


Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Today I felt like starting


no longer writing in the third person

13, H, grate

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13