somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

December 2025

wait what is that

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

But seriously, thank you, Jack, for telling me that I could submit this to a high-level literary magazine or creative nonfiction outlet with some minor tweaks. I don't think I will do that.

I am below everything.

A roll of 50s is one of the items he dumps onto my table during the search. Of course it is. He asks if I'm a delivery boy or a setter or this or that diamond related job. I keep saying no, I'm enjoying hearing all of these new words. Eventually I tell him that I work in film, which is kind of true. He asks where I'm filming. I'm not filming. He tells me that I can't be that good at it then. He then tells me that he made a film once, in the 80s. It was called Pimlico Rats.

hiding from the rain

He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building. He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

but i respect your search

i see a website

currently

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

and the fake qualifier

feel you

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

i really havent

lol yea

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46