Rain, starting

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

Worse Lift

It's

dusk

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

Better Lift

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

you have a beautiful account btw

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

1

It Will Get Lighter

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

Today I felt like starting

Another Frenchman pushes through the crowd to join him. He's an events organiser who I'd met earlier, and he's holding a large box wrapped in a bin bag. They're the fireworks he'd smuggled in from France the night before. They're Industrial Grade, whatever that means for fireworks.

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.

My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

Thank you, Jack, for telling me I'm just as bad as the characters (actually they're people, if that means anything to you) that I'm writing about.

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

I'm getting bored and he can tell, so he shifts the topic towards me. He tells me he'd spotted me chatting to a girl earlier, a black girl, and asks what I thought of her, if I liked her. I mimed affirmatively.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50

really i want the internet

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

Thank you for telling me that I'm failing to see how I'm reproducing the dynamics I'm trying to critique by only describing my Korean colleague / fresh meat and the black girl in relation to others and myself.

i see a website