"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
currently
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
magnetises a pin
yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf
I am below everything.
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
you cannot feed someone truth
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
thank you
what do you mean
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl