We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.
so at the end
all that is to say
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
division of reality is straying away from it
amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
you cannot feed someone truth
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.