The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."
in a post. I want to be remembered
"Put a blanket."
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
ahnaf abrar
December 2025
whats your name?
i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
isaac
so magnetisation means the divine spirit acting thru u endowing you with its qualities
lol yea
sorry i am texting like a slav
really i want the internet
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
barren land