currently

barren land

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

It's

dusk

in a snowy forest and I'm playing with a fox.
It bites my wrist but there is only a dull ache.
I feel that it wants to say sorry but can't. I die.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

i love to walk around and see things and take photos and go online and look at websites and click on links and take screenshots i love to surf and i love to browse

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Worse Lift

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

kind of mythopoesis

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.