no longer writing in the third person

lol

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

i love it here

send your tumblr

so at the end

we need to be deconstructing our identities

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

i was tempted to lie about my name

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

is this you as well

its good

As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

but i respect your search

whats your name?

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

The old failed actor genuinely believed this girl was of a lesser race. He believed she shouldn't be talking with me, shouldn't be here at this party, shouldn't be here in this country. He wanted a white England. I didn't really challenge him on it. Sometimes I justify it with thoughts like I was drunk, or baffled, or it isn't an argument I'll win, or he can't hear me anyway, or whatever. I didn't argue with him. I just cut off his rant and left with a pathetic "In a bit."

Her English is poor but she manages a brief introduction before getting to the point. She asks if she can touch his face. She's already reaching out and gesturing at it. Koreans are way too polite, he's just laughing awkwardly. I put my hand kind of between them and wave it to try and indicate no to her. I'm still in fucking mime mode. I say no, but it's not really to her, or to him, just no, in general. This is all too weird. Dejected, she departs with a comment about having never seen someone like him before.

fw