I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

Rain, starting

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

abrar?

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

so the method has to be autonomous

the only things i have read are just excerpts and 1 dialogue by plato fully and mcluhan's medium is the massage but it cannot be considered a book

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

its good

or never left