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I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
i am quite illiterate on producing technology
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
brb i will read and reply sincerely
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
currently
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything