the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

currently

IWGD

I am below everything.

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

It Will Get Lighter

no longer writing in the third person

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful