something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever
we need to be deconstructing our identities
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
a version of this existed for a few months last year but it was static. it was HTML with writing and pictures and videos and sounds. i had this feeling that the code should be as important as the content, that structurally each piece in relation to each other piece shouldn't change, that the mazelike quality should emerge from me intricately arranging paths through it. like classic hypertext
currently
hiding from the rain
that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after
dusk
, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.so i or you can author smaller fragments that get arranged
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
no longer writing in the third person
in a post. I want to be remembered
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
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the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.