no longer writing in the third person
it holds me to something (you, now). I love editing!
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
brb i will read and reply sincerely
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
i am quite illiterate on producing technology
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
you have a beautiful account btw
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate
i struggle with building a personal technical architecture for storing media, both curation and creation. instead i bookmark everything
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
we can only engage in such a way
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
autonomy of learning
Windrush Art Kid Oligarch
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.