Today I felt like starting

idk

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

so the method has to be autonomous

mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

Can I see

its good

plato

yes

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

"Put a blanket."

like first name

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

that looks like my instagram account

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

what do you mean

i am quite illiterate on producing technology