and the fake qualifier
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59
"Put a blanket."
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
as in
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
so an active mazelike process
we can only engage in such a way
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24
you have a beautiful account btw
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
i haven't read 100 book s so i'm probably not getting the depth of all of what you're saying
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
thank you
I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.
Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03
you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak
really i want the internet