After I get away from the old racist failed actor, I go to see my Korean colleague. He's just arrived in London and I want to see how he's handling the party. We'd been invited as fresh meat for some of the older, gayer attendees. We aren't aware of that.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

i believe search always should be immersive, because whatever is pre planned and non consuming (what you are looking for is total engulfment by the spectre of the real), a joyous intensity, a flow of virtue

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

propensity within someone

you cannot feed someone language, they have to speak

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

magnetisation/form

...

yeah people dont get it they assume its ahnaf

no like which do people call me

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Better Lift

One of the birds shoots out of the tree.

ion

feel you

i dont understand magnetisation

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

okay this is interesting because pedagogies we have rn are not proper models

It's

dusk

As I'm trying to tell my Korean colleague / fresh meat that this is abnormal, that most people in England aren't like this, the host of the party emerges from the bathroom to a roar of laughter and applause. He's a fat middle aged Frenchman and he's changed into traditional Indian dress and a turban. He looks fucking ridiculous. I try to back away, to avoid the inevitable photo of me in this moment that will one day appear to ruin my life, but everyone is crowding around, trapping me in the middle of it.

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

A procession forms behind the French Raj and his fireworks bearer as they head out the door. I've lost my Korean colleague / fresh meat in the chaos. I'm sure he'll be able to fend for himself. They have mandatory military service in Korea.