okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.

It Will Get Lighter

so the method has to be autonomous

Better Lift

There is a pretty persistent ambient hate in England, a lot of people say vile shit about Muslims or immigrants or whatever, but in my experience most people aren't actual white supremacists. They have a black friend who they get a beer with. One of the good ones. Etc.

I'm sat out the front of a cafe in Hatton Garden. I've just eaten a brie and bacon panini, and I'm rolling a cigarette. Feeling very London. An old man comes up to me and asks for a roll-up. I oblige.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

we can only engage in such a way

its performative

Thank you, Jack

It Will Get Lighter

13, H, grate

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

no longer writing in the third person

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

amazing hopefully this was all legible and frankly i might be going very off board but you seemed interesting