My inability to confront the old racist failed actor is distracting me. I decide not to tell her about it.

Rain, starting

we can only engage in such a way

i am quite confused, not quite getting the idea of it

a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it

so the method has to be autonomous

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

really i want the internet

but i respect your search

all that is to say

I am below everything.

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

, I have nothing to do, I'm watching them, trying to figure it out.

I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

yes

wow, you are the first stranger to write a textwall to me

Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?

okay im going very rogue and very inarticulate

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I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.