the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:27:13

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

it is hopeful

It Will Get Lighter

you cannot feed someone truth

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 11:31:03

its performative

not their contents

somewhere between instagram and chatgpt

Can I see

but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.

brb i will read and reply sincerely

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

Lift Analysis