it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

no like which do people call me

I catch him on his way to the bar, telling him about this old racist failed actor that I'm avoiding. That I'm failing to confront. I get the sense he's avoiding people too. We get our drinks and find a corner. We chat for a bit. He's managing just fine.

send link

was it worth it

i really havent

that looks like my instagram account

send your tumblr

i have read not even 1 book

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

i was tempted to lie about my name

the site i am dreaming

your feed looks like my tumblr

i hadn't considered this pedagogically or as a kind of personal knowledge management system (puke) at all but i suppose it is both of those things

you know who you are. no more time, not like

1

. way too specific.

The Hatton geezer (fuck off) reminds me of this old failed actor who I'd met at a party a few years ago, another man out of time and out of place. This actor had scored a minor role in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and never really let go of it, had gone on to build his whole identity around it. I can't really blame him.

⚠️ Live Document Forever ⚠️

feel you

i really havent

Overall meaning: The dream seems to explore vulnerability, unspoken emotion, and the tension between connection and isolation. It suggests you may be processing intense feelings of longing or missed opportunities, and your subconscious is guiding you to acknowledge, release, or transform them.

is everyoneback on tumblr now

lol

The slug lives in my bathroom. I only see it in the early hours of the morning, when I'm not quite right.

what do you think my name is

part of an old note. It will get lighter.

think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now

It's loud and he's gone deaf in one ear, so I don't think he's really hearing anything I'm trying to say. We're both pretty drunk too. It's making for a kind of surreal interactive Business Insider YouTube video of a conversation. He talks, waits for my response, sees my mouth moving but doesn't hear my words, then he imagines something in their place, and replies to that. At least I don't really have to do anything but drink and mime and listen to a lot of bullshit fake gangster talk, being an actor, boxing, the old days, blah blah blah.