i know a little bit of lacan which probably influences me in a way i cant articulate

It Will Get Lighter

Imprint, memory, impact, representation, impression

It Will Get Lighter

13, H, grate

Garden Post-Dusk, Birds Above, In Another Life

to work in time to get to the timeless, perfection thru chaos

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

"Put a blanket."

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

something religious, a kind of complex,

it will get lighter

Thank you, Jack

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."

Above and in front two birds are darting in and out of a tree. Sometimes they collide to fight or maybe mate, but I can't really make it out in the low light. It's just after

dusk

hiding from the rain

The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.

bro i read nothing in my life

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59