Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
no longer writing in the third person
no like which do people call me
ahnaf abrar
somewhere between instagram and chatgpt
so the method has to be autonomous
what do you think my name is
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
...
send link
with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
think this is much more rhizomatic or immanent or mazelike than mainstream education now
it is hopeful
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
wait what is that
all that is to say
We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river. I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the dim silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank. They're fucking around with the box. I ask her what people do with fireworks for so long before they're ready to light. She doesn't know.