Maybe, Jack, I'm doing this because I'm English?

...

i really havent

December 2025

ahnaf is it worth reading all those books

nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class

I've found the girl, or she's found me, and we're smoking a cigarette while we watch the silhouettes of the French Raj and his fireworks bearer down on the bank.

We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 23:38:15

1. Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations, relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
2. Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
3. Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing. Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk points to transition or uncertainty.
4. The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable, suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
5. Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death; it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control. It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.

was it worth it

Hours staring at the ceiling, the wall, curling up into a ball. It seems annoyed with the light, it kind of recoils. It will get lighter. I wonder where it goes in the day.

Wed, 11 Nov 2025 21:12:41

We gather around the start of a causeway down to the Thames. It's a pretty cold night and there's a breeze coming off the river.

autonomy of learning

It Will Get Lighter

i dont understand magnetisation

its good

Lift Analysis

a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.

I created this site

ion

I am below everything.

that is unstable and lets me operate in that discovery mode that i can create within and also produce works from.

"Put a blanket."

there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.