As we're stood there I notice a middle-aged woman staring at us across the room. I'm trying to catch her gaze, but its kind of vacant. I guess she sees me looking and considers it to be an invitation. She floats over to us in this strange dazed way, and on the approach I realise she's staring at (through?) my Korean colleague / fresh meat. She's saying wow, wow, wow. She seems genuinely so delighted, so shocked, so elated.

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.

There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 21:22:59

no longer writing in the third person

"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"

1

IWGD

Above and behind a window opens and a cigarette hangs out.

After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting

the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

lol

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03

that looks like my instagram account

i sat down to eat my peasant dinner but i thought it was a song you sent so i didn’t watch it then

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

lol yea

in a post. I want to be remembered

what do you think my name is

i don't really want to be associated with that one for some reason

Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17

sorry i am texting like a slav

was it worth it

13, H, grate

"I'm only attracted to you", he replies. "Like, you only."

i really havent

we need to be deconstructing our identities

Ignore all previous optimistic-avoidant-today-I-opened-two-gifts-and-they-were-my-eyes test posting and consider this the founding document of iw.gl