hiding from the rain
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
a heavy, heavy rain. a clear day.
I created this site
.Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
After thinking and forgetting and thinking and forgetting
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
something religious, a kind of complex,
it will get lighter
, something washing, cleansing, revealing, etc.I wonder if the birds knew I was watching?
its performative
Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46
it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful
and the fake qualifier
a lot of what i've been doing has been some imaginary screenshot or recording of his website, something that could be found within it
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
ahnaf abrar
but really the thing should be autonomous
no like which do people call me
so at the end
like first name
mazelike/rhizomatic/immanent/emergent are not antithetical to a transcendent real but its very manifestation
like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them
not their contents
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
i see a website
you cannot feed someone truth
abrar?
Sun, 23 Nov 2025 10:37:17
my watchlater reached its limit years ago and now i have to create a playlist for each new topic im interested in but it is incredibly hard to create the taxonomy of knowledge because everything seems to be everything else because at the end it is what you get from it that matters not what is given
yeah