it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story
a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling
something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever
but the thinking is useful
It Will Get Lighter
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just
their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them
in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's
using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their
voices are betraying them.
I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more
personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more
romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:29:50
We look out over the river to a block of luxury flats built on the site of
some old docks. It would be nice to live right there. Yes.
He went in there with a camera to film it before he moved out of the building.
He didn't think anyone would believe the story if he didn't have proof.
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Their voices are saying they
haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one
of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like
that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen.
I go inside.
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
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Lift and confinement – The crowded, immovable lift represents feeling
trapped or constrained in real life, either by social expectations,
relationships, or internal emotions. The inability to speak in front of
others suggests suppressed feelings or fear of judgment.
-
Unexpected confession – The girl saying “I think I might love you” could
symbolize longing for connection or recognition. It may reflect
unacknowledged desires, vulnerability, or anxiety about intimacy.
-
Forest and snow – The transition to a snowy forest signals escape into the
subconscious, a place of solitude, reflection, and emotional processing.
Snow often represents purity, stillness, or emotional coldness, while dusk
points to transition or uncertainty.
-
The fox – Foxes are traditionally symbols of cunning, intuition, and
guidance, but here it’s more ethereal: its bites are gentle yet noticeable,
suggesting a confrontation with subtle truths, small regrets, or lessons
that must be acknowledged. The unspoken apology indicates things left
unresolved or feelings that cannot be expressed.
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Death or dissolution – Dying in the dream often doesn’t mean literal death;
it represents transformation, the end of a phase, or surrendering control.
It can indicate letting go of fear, old habits, or emotional blockages.
way too random but already engaging. i want to explore it
