i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me

brb i will read and reply sincerely

I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.

yes

Thank you, Jack

Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

something for the future. something to look at when this is more. I've been thinking about... whatever

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Thu, 06 Nov 2025 23:18:46

She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.

Sun, 02 Nov 2025 22:11:24

I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.

It Will Get Lighter

the textwall is as much for me as it is for you

i am quite illiterate on producing technology

in a way what we are really interested in with pedagogy is the magnetisation

Can I see

so an active mazelike process

it exists in my head in some way that i'm trying to get out i lied on my story a little bit because i'm mostly feeling it and thinking about it. feeling something deeply doesn't necessitate any kind of deep relevance or whatever but the thinking is useful

not their contents

like people can read 100 books and still not have the fire within them


the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.

so the method has to be autonomous