I wonder if she knew I was down there listening? I wonder if she would've said something more true, more personal, more raw, more heartfelt, more harsh, more seductive, more freeing, more exposing, more risky, more romantic, more rude, more honest, more anything, if there hadn't been an audience.
"No, it'll get cold!"
"Put a tut ahh put a-"
13 | | | H | | | . . . . | . . . . | . . . . | . . . . | |
There is a pause. She ashes her cigarette. It falls on me. It seems like the birds have stopped too.
Today I felt like starting
One of the birds shoots out of the tree.
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
Their voices are saying they haven't and shouldn't fuck but want to so bad, or have fucked and can't again but want to so bad, or something like that. Would this be easier if they were birds? Incel kind of question... I'm not following the conversation, but I'm still listening. He's talking in this slightly begging way. It's a way of talking that asks for pity, like he's already tried appealing to every other one of her sensibilities. Incel kind of observation... Maybe he just talks like that, in some upspeak derivative. Haha unless?
The bird dives back into the tree. It shakes, some leaves fall.
I know that if I try to make this entry any more than it is I will ruin it.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
I'm trying to picture the scene inside, like I was trying to picture the scene in the tree.
no longer writing in the third person
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:54:03
"Anyway, you're you. I mean, look at you!" she says. "You could get with anyone, anyone in the street. Really."
Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:38:49
it is hopeful
we want to live the knowledge too live the content
abrar?