Today I felt like starting
i did until you asked which kind of gave it away
its good
and the fake qualifier
have you read
the point of this was to try and avoid this narcissistic death spiral I'm in by acting anonymously and impulsively. how can that feeling that even Jack can't describe paralyse me if my name isn't next to any of this? the excitement of believing I just need a new process has overcome me and I have cummed out an empty webpage.
She says something that isn't really right but isn't really wrong. I'm not taking in their words any more, just their voices, trying to get a feel for whatever is going on between them. I'm imagining what it's like for them in this delicate situation, what I would say if it were me. She has that perfect upper-class accent, and she's using whatever upper-class tact that comes with it to navigate this. Style. They can't be together, but their voices are betraying them.
...
She closes the window. I wasn't paying attention anyway, I'm getting cold, and the birds are nowhere to be seen. I go inside.
I'm in a crowded lift and a girl I've never met tells me she thinks she might love me.
The lift won't stop at any floor, and I can't talk in front of all these people.
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with this post net clarity and the hours of nothing that followed I realise this is going to be awful.
Sun, 02 Nov 2025 23:49:08
nope. i only remember the leaves bristling behind the window during chemistry class
was it worth it
it is hopeful
so at the end
i got bored though because i knew all of the different arrangements of it. i probably needed to stick at it longer to get it dense enough to feel navigable in a way that was engaging to me
there's probably something in that, but I don't feel like thinking about it too much yet.
hello reader,
i really havent
ahnaf is it worth reading all those books
but it is in my head and am i compelled to realise it, so it is my silmarillion, my tempelos
so an active mazelike process
i understand